You don’t really want it
September 20, 2012 | By: Cristiane Cardoso | Posted in: Behavior, Strength
I remember a time period when I used to home-school my son. In one of these sessions – torment for my son- I noticed that he got stuck in one of the math problems. I, as an efficient teacher, would ask him to go back and do the lesson again. But he would insist on getting it wrong.
So, I would take the obvious step: I asked him to go back to the previous book, and learn the basics all over again, so that he could know where the mistake began. He would roll his eyes and speak through his teeth: “I don’t know where to begin.” I would take a deep breath and say: “I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help himself.”
We make this mistake more frequently than you can imagine. We say we want something. But when someone puts us to the test, it becomes clear that it wasn’t exactly what we wanted.
We say we want to lose weight, but if people followed us 24/7, they would discover we don’t really want to lose weight that much. We say that we want to learn a new language, but then the same thing happens. We think we want something; but in it’s really not true. We’re simply deceiving ourselves into thinking that we want what’s good and important to us.
How embarrassing! When are we going to want something for real? When are we going to show how much we want something? When it’s too late?
My e-mail inbox is always full of messages asking for help, and they normally seem to say the same thing: “I want to change, but I’m not able to.” I feel like answering: “You can, but you don’t want to.”
P.S. I’m dieting this week. I have started at 138lbs. Next week, I’ll tell you how much I lost. 
Cristiane Cardoso
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.
So true, Mrs Chris. its easy to confuse , wishing and wanting something. Want, comes with a revolt inside, and the decision to go all out and do what it takes to realise your goal. You might stumble and and fall on the way, but each time you wake up with your eyes fixed on your goal and more determined than ever to make it a reality.
Thank you for the empowering messages.
Sue
This is so true of me Mrs Cristiane.
If I can think back at the number of things I have said I wanted to do majority I would start with so much enthusiasm and determination, but as soon as an obstacle came along – there I would go complain on how difficult it is to keep up. A simple example would be eating healthy, eating healthy requires cooking ( not microwave food). So for sometime I knew I needed to eat healthy because my body was ‘crying’ to have healthy, home cooked food (lol). I have now been doing it and as time has been going by I actually enjoy and am learning how to cook. I have researched on the required vitamins for my body and to be honest my health is benefitiing from this
Thanks Mam it is we have show God how much we want Him to bless us oh Lord help to what we benefit me thanks.
Kissess
So true, at this moment I am fighting for something, but I realised do I really want, or am I decieving myself?
It’s really a wake up call, because if I turely want something, I would’nt hesitate to give my all.
I agree with you mrs Chris,that is 100% true and i will make sure that everyday i work hard to achieve what i want……thank you!
Hi Mrs Cris
Reading your message, I wonder whether people “wanting” to change and actually not doing anything about it, is sparked by a desire to do what others are doing. If this is the case, then it obviously will not work. It is the same as wanting to get married because all your friends are getting married and you do not want to be left behind; the intention behind this “desire” is wrong and as we have learned it will end up a disaster.
I know that you will succeed in your diet, because this is the kind of woman you have chosen to be; a woman who finishes what she’s started…and finishes it in an excellent way
Thanks cristiane for your clarity. I can relate to this because after all these years I am currently learning how to understand and speak another language.
I have struggled and met my challenge. So blessed to be around people who speak and know Spanish, but you explain why it’s important to know what you really want.
P.s. next time I think I can’t do this, I’m going to hear your words “you can, but you don’t want to!”
Mrs. Cris this soo true!! I can relate to it and I need to take my diet seriously! Something I’ve been wanting to do but I put to many excuses. Enough! Time to get serious! Thank you very much!
God Bless you
Thank you Mrs Cris for this message….
Many times I try to do something new,for the first time I’m exited about it and along the way I just stop,but I got it as I read this message,I will be different from now
This is exactly the situation I am facing at this time! I feel like I’ve said so much to God that its like my words are more or less my actions if you get what I mean.. I say more than I do! Its something very frustrating! I even remember hearing something that was said at church – If we obey/DO something its because we believe if we disobey/DONT DO anything its because we don’t believe that thing can happen!
I need to demand from myself harder!!
Lol! Its true, if we really wanted something we will do all that we can to get it even though it’ll be hard.
Hi Mrs Cris
I see that you’re in the same spirit as your husband, your post is very similar to one t hat I read on his blog earlier. Its true what you said. Sometimes we say that we want something but we don’t really. Only our actions will determine whether we want something or not.
Whooooo, I will stay tuned
That is so true, Our actions speaks louder than our Words!
Many Times I’ve said I want something but what have i done to achieve it?
When we really want something we will do everything to make it happen! We don’t see obstacles or don’t don’t take our eyes of our targets!
Haha, that what I need to hear, I am also on a diet and I am going all the way. And I totally agree with you Mrs. Cris.
Thanks for sharing.