Going out with my dad in public was unthinkable
During my adolescence The UCKG was being highly persecuted. Going out with my Dad in public was unthinkable! People would call him names like thief, liar… not to mention the dirty looks they would give him. When they found out whom my father was I was quickly compared to the daughter of a drug dealer. The day that I saw my Dad cry on TV, I was in a room with others, but I honestly don’t remember them. I stopped and started crying as well. I lived in anguish day and night. It didn’t matter where I was I carried the pain of society’s rejection and my own.
The only thing that kept me going was seeing the life my parent’s led. Their honesty, dedication and love, was the complete opposite of what it was like when I walked out the door. When I saw my parents I knew they were strong, different. But I didn’t see this in me. This terrified me because I knew they were of God and I was not. I thought that I couldn’t be of God because of all the times I had denied Him.
The bottom of the pit for me was moving from place to place, school and the persecutions.
One day, carrying this huge weight inside of me, I went to the church in Brasilia. It was in the basement of a shopping mall. I was only a child, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take that indecision anymore. But I didn’t know how to reach a decision. So I knelt down, forgot about everything and everyone around me, and told God who I really was. I told Him everything, how I couldn’t live without Him any longer, and how I would rather die than go on with the life I was living. I implored for His Spirit.
Through many tears came my new birth. I felt loved by God, I felt forgiven for all the weakness. Oh what a Day! I was washed. The next day I noticed that nothing around me had changed, but it didn’t bother me anymore. I knew I would suffer the persecutions, go on moving, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Things didn’t get easier, but I had peace inside, the anguish was gone. Daily the desire to serve God grew.
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.