Is valuing yourself a cliché?
September 9, 2012 | By: Cristiane Cardoso | Posted in: Behavior, Uncategorized, Youth
“Know your worth!” We say and hear that phrase so often, that it has even become a cliché. Every time I say it on our show “The Love School,” in our marriage course, during counseling sessions or even on this blog, I get the feeling that I am speaking in another language. The question I see stamped on everyone’s face is: “How do I value myself?” And as much as I try to explain or paint a clearer picture, it’s as if I am presenting a lovely theory that is impossible to practice.
But God showed me something very interesting about this today…
“They followed worthless idols and became worthless themselves.” Jeremiah 2:5
This is the secret. This is the reason why many people find it so hard to value themselves.
Who is your idol? Who have you been trying to emulate? Who dictates how you should dress, behave and speak? Who are you constantly trying to imitate? If that person is anyone other than God, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Of course I’m not saying that people of God can’t be used to help you and serve as references; but that’s the only purpose they serve – there is no reason to make these people your idols either.
At the very moment that you start to idolize someone, you lose your self-worth. Do you know why? Because you start comparing yourself to that creature. It’s like teens that idolize models and celebrities; they start dressing and losing weight like them and end up devaluing themselves. It’s like mature women that idolize young adults, as they compare themselves to younger women, their age makes them feel their self value goes down. In short…they follow worthless idols and become worthless themselves.
My value is found in Who I follow and believe in: the Lord Jesus. His value doesn’t rely on His appearance, fame or possessions. Since He is perfect, through His perfection He guides me and I end up becoming like Him. All of my self-worth is in Him and because of this, no one can undervalue me.
Cristiane Cardoso
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.
To value ourselves is to love ourselves.
I know that sometimes we criticise our own selves but if we stopped and remembered that we are created in God’s own image then we will realise that we are more valuable than we sometimes feel.
So when we invest in our beauty we are actually taking good care and consideration for the temple god built.
Hi Mrs Cris,
I am sorry to ask AGAIN even though you’ve explained it so simply, but do we lose our own value when looking to others because when we do so our value depends on how similar we are to them?
Achol,
We ask if you could write your questions, here. http://www.cristianecardoso.com/en/contact-me/
Thank you!
Thank you, know I know where to go in the future
NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS, BUT THIS IS JUST THE PERFECT WORDS TO MEDITATE ON AND START MY DAY, JUST A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, GOD IS MY MASTER AND HIS CHARACTERS ARE WHAT I WANT TO IMITATE AND DISPLAY.
Kealeboga Pilane
Amen,Thank my sister
I want to be like my father,JESUS
Woah this is amazing Mrs Cristiane very strong message
to take on board. It’s like if you contaminate yourself by
imitating somebody else.
Who is worthy to have all the admirations and praises,
Only Our Lord.
Kisses.
Dear Mrs Cris
This message is really inspring and something to meditate about.
Thank you
What a revelation… Thank you. Will definitely be sharing this with my friends.
Hi Mrs Cris,
I remember when I was around 15 or so I used to be very skinny – my friends around me used to be well developed and had nice figures – NOT ME! it use to be a complex, and i was insecure because i was different from them.and i remember I wanted to be like them… even be like those celebrities on TV and magazines – I didn’t value myself! and I myself esteem went low!
But since coming to the church, God made all these complexes go away – i learned to value myself and the only person that I want to look like is God Himself – He made me with His own Hands and I am Special! That’s all that counts!
We will only Start to value Our self when we put Him first!
The World disgrace Woman but God gives value to them! We are all Precious to Him.
Wow, that is so true and strong. Thanks Mrs. Cris. I will keep this in mind.
Hi Mrs Cristiane,
this is so true. I was thinking about what you wrote and understood also that when a person’s idol is another creature, it suffocates. It’s like plugging yourself into a parasite that sucks the life out of you. It drains away the original beauty that God, Himself placed in you and leaves a cheap imitation or version that is prone to crash and burn. When God is the focus however, the liberty that comes with that is more than words can describe. The value and true beauty that He brings flows beyond you and makes you worth so much more than you can ever imagine because He makes you shine. The eyes really is the window of the soul…to whom are we pointing them to?
This is very strong miss Chris,thank you for this message.
Hi Mrs Cris
Lots of girl in london has been wearing very short shorts this year althought it is not very hot,these girls get lots of attention everyone stares at them,but for the wrong reasons and they feel so confident. So its got the point that for these girls to feel valuable they dress half naked which is sad.
Its is very true Mrs. Cris and we often have unrealistic image of the person we idolise, when effect they are human as we are and they are full of mistakes. I did not value myself for along time thinking everyone was better than me wich in me not believing myself but after I fought to remove all these false images I had about other people and starting working with who I am and accepting myself as I am and working on improving and letting go what I did not admire about myself and the knowledge that God loves me and sees me as everyone else made to appreciate who I am.
Amen!! Mrs Cristiane this is really good, it made me think.
Dear Big Sister.
Thank you for the message. What I understood from this message is that once I start to value other things more that my God then now I am Idolising those things and now I will become worthless to God. It is like us when something that we liked or loved before for Example a trouser or even a dress , once it is worthless you throw it away and after you don’t care what will happen to it.
Thank you.