The strongest dose
Whoever suffered any kind of abuse understands the pain of others and understands there are subjects which are too delicate to be touched. One of them is forgiveness. We’ve known each other for more than two months, and I think you know me a little bit more and how direct I am. That’s why I didn’t touch on this subject at first, because I know it’s hard to understand: I was abused, I suffered, I carry the scars until today and you want me to forgive? Now is the time to speak a bit more about this, because I can really say it’s the starting line of a new life.
I was only a girl when I was abused, so I didn’t wish evil on my aggressor, that’s what I wanted it to seem like; though for most of us it would seem like the day vengeance is served will be the best. I’ve heard friends say the best day of their life will be when they hear that their abuser died. I myself don’t think so. Seeing your abuser pay for what he did in some way can bring you a sense of justice, but it won’t alleviate the pain. Knowing that he paid for it or not won’t annul what was done.
Please don’t think I’m defending the crime with my words. The pain is inside of you and it will only go away when you do something about it. Remember our previous articles? You’re in control of your life now. While you feed that hate, that deep sadness and that grudge against your abuser, you re-live the abuse every day in your mind. Your thoughts are caught up on what happened and be honest with yourself, every day it gets worst, right? You suffer the abuse again, though it’s only imaginary but yes you live it all over again. You feel inferior, dirty, humiliated, suffocated, oppressed, and you think about death.
Many times, they don’t even know who you are; they continue living as though nothing happened, and you, the abused, who suffered the abuse, have been raping yourself daily with the same thought. Even if the abuser paid for what he did, the pain is still there. That’s because the grudge and hate are inside of you. No factor will alleviate, clean, or rip out what you feel.
Think about what someone wrote me: “When you hate someone, that hate won’t hurt or bother that person not even a little bit. But that hate will destroy you slowly.” The truth is hard: the only way out is to forgive. And you’re not going to do this for the person, but for yourself. If you are ready to know how, read our next article.
Watch this special video speaking about the Rahab Project – help us break the silence.
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.