The anxiety of a pastor’s fiancée
Girls, one thing I learned after my marriage was this: I wasn’t blessed because God felt pity towards me.
When we are getting to know someone or engaged to an assistant pastor, we tend to “dive” into super spiritual purposes, like fasts for hours on end, accelerated readings of the Bible and sacrifices in campaigns- be it selling everything, cleaning homes or donations. We live that moment with a very humble mindset, and even though there are no demands, we place ourselves in the position of NOTHING, for the only thing we want is to the Work and go to the end of the World with out future love.
But, reflect: could it be that “all” of that isn’t moved by a heart full of anxiety, moved by an only desire to get married?
I remember when my at the time boyfriend came to tell me that he wanted a serious commitment with me. It was an unusual day. He was going to travel to another country that same day. I remember that it was like a movie scene: he asked me to wait for him and I said yes!!! (I wanted to get married that very moment.)
After his trip, I remember that I spent a month walking on clouds, dreaming and planning our future. When the phone rang and it was him, I thought that he was on his way to get me. But, thanks be to God, through the meetings for pastor’s fiancées, I began to understand that I was focused on just one thing: on the marriage, in the union between man and woman, in all of the love that I was going to receive and all of the good that comes along with marriage.
I was forgetting that I was going to marry a man that has his life totally on the Altar and that I must also have the same calling as he.
I began to analyze my “purposes,” cited above, and concentrate on myself. I worked on removing any sort of anxiety and everything that wasn’t God’s will. In fact, I even asked Him that if my relationship wasn’t of His liking, that He show me that too.
When you start acting this way, allowing your intelligent faith to guide you, with spirit and sincerity, you start to understand God’s Work, to let your life be guided by Him, to be molded, to be ready for the Work’s needs and love the place where you are- without worrying about the conditions of the place. You begin to make the difference at that moment.
Daniela Reis, pastor’s wife
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.