Needy Husbands
July 5, 2012 | By: Cristiane Cardoso | Posted in: Family, Marriage
Nowadays, one of the weaknesses of most men is a certain need. This need wasn’t so great a few decades ago when the wife had the habit of doing everything to please her husband… she was always willing to cook, care for his clothing and prepare everything for him at home.
During that time, the wife was the queen of her home. However, in our times she has become just another member of the household. Everyone has to contribute to the household chores, everyone has to get used to the family’s rhythm, who eats out nearly everyday and when they don’t, they reach for precooked food.
Ok, so things have changed, most times the wife has to work in order for her family to survive. However, there is surely time for certain activities, we don’t need to discard everything just because time is limited. And some of the things that don’t need to be discarded are appreciation, the care, the consideration, the respect and the desire to please.
The husbands that are not appreciated, that are objects of criticism, are needy men. Needy men don’t render much, they tend to work a lot to, perhaps, who knows, receive some appreciation. Sometimes they are even jealous. Sometimes they can’t communicate and they give the impression that they are ungrateful men, rude and absent. All of that is just a facade to hide their needs.
The wise wife appreciates, pleases and with her feminine essence makes him feel that he is the strongest, the most handsome and the most intelligent man on the face of the earth.
Cristiane Cardoso
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.
Thanks for this message! This goes to show how important a woman’s role is in a marriage and how we can affect it.
Carla CF, RI
This is so very true. ITs a sign that you are not noticing them in a way that need to shown that you care about them. I have noticed this in my very young marriage. This is something that I need to learn more about but I have improved on.
thanks.
Carla
Dear Mrs Chris
I agree with you, men like to hear words of acknowledgement from theirs wives. It makes them feel special, worthy, loved, appreciated etc. It is amazing how much they will do for you in return if you are the kind of wife that pleases them.
Kisses
Nkulie
hi Cristian,
yes it’s true.
At the moment i’m not working just wait for the work permit. My husband
came from work get his food in hand,he has more time to relax don’t need to do any household, just spend most his time with our little boy. He says it’s better like this but as we have some debts that he could not afford to pay it.so i have to work to make things easy and to save money. When i was working, the day that he was off from work he did the household and cook and sometime when i’m tired he will do everything.
I think nowadays if we are helping the hunsband for our family desire,so we need corparation.
thank you
be bless
Thank you for this post Mrs. Cristiane!
God has opened my eyes to look into every little detail of how I’m taking care of my house, and providing for my husband’s needs as well as serving God in the prosses. I must be careful to not allow my husband to shut down and become needy.
I am so grateful to be apart of the v – woman family, because before i never used to do anything in my house. I was always tired, when me and my husband came home from work he would be the one to prepared dinner for the both of us, on weekend he iron our cloths even clean the house. I would sometimes shout at my children saying that they are not helping, i was vary bad. thank god to inspires mrs cristiane to write the v – woman book because it was when i start reading the book during the rush mounth task i realized that i need to change. IT wasnt easy but i know i need to change, because by reading the book one of the things i learn is that a v – woman is not lazy. know when i am at home and my husband comes home from work he said you were busy today with a smile.
Thank you for this article Mrs.Cris,
I’ve learned from it..
All in All, this has opened my eyes, to make sure that i don’t drive my husband to be a needy husband: I will always appreciate him and make him feel at home at all times:
I agree Mrs Cristaine, men lack the skills to make a home and few women consider being a housewife as something to value, it so much despised in today society. Thank God for giving us Pastors wife’s who make us understand how to help, appreciate men for making a difference in society.
So true Mrs C time as really has change. Some husband is playing the reverse role of staying home and also, cooking cleaning and vice versa. We have come along way that husbands and wives can share each other roles.
Good afternoon Christiane,
you’re right arn’t you, how dare you, cheeky!,Yes Christiane and I was also contemplating something your Mum said, a quote about the heart being ‘tired and stuck’ as it were. So i was praying and asking the Lord, How, Why, has a person from the past been able to haunt me, i made a decision, i have good reason to move on, its just the way life is sometimes, our life is not ours, we cant have all the things we want, when we want and life does not revolve around us, it feels like tha though, haunting,t, and i got my answer. So Sue came up to me and mentioned the Rahab and i was off, so i met some wonderful kind women who have offered their support,all that has to be removed, and to me it is a miracle because i thought i was ok, but then the Lord showed me, things have taken their toll and it’s time to heal! its wonderful Christiane, because i cried tears of relief instead of misery tears and i was so bursting with joy afterwards because i never really told anyone in confidence about my life much and trusted, you know, but today i did and the campaign is not even finished yet!!! to me,God is healing me and so he will heal my body too because he won’t do one and leave the other, because he is not like that is He is a thorough God and Now i wont run away from real love or mess it up and i am excited Christiane, because i knowit will be very difficult, but i left these precious ladies thinking, “i wonder who i really am, who i wil and what i will be”
can you imagine that ! lol! it’s incredible, it was just that God was so close to me telling me i would change unrecognizably through this healing and of course how can i be STRONG like i want to be in obedience, if i am not healed properly? i know God has accepted my Sacrifice, and now my life is going to explode with good things and it has already started! Thank you you three ladies! I am going to get a diary and write and photograph and pray and stuff and do everything I am told, this is the biggest project and will take me 100s of miles. Thank God Almighty Christiane!
Im off to RAHAB, hello sisters!
Oh, and for the tuture this is the best thing for me to do oh and I am not doing idol worship, no just looking at something lovely for the tuture, first, the kingdom of God and healing I am going to climb up and not pull anyone precious and handsome and wonderful down!
God
Bless Christiane
Big love HelenXXX
I have always thought it was important for the wife and husband both to recognize even the simplest of tasks just to show appreciation. For example, if the husband puts the children to bed while the wife is taking out the clothes for the next day, both should thank the other. These tasks seems very menial yet they are important.In many of today’s marriages there is a great lack of appreciation and even more so God is NOT the strength that keeps them together. For this reason many marriages end in divorce in less than 2 years. Instead of complimenting and appreciating tasks husbands voluntarily take on, such as washing the dishes, the wife may say “oh goodness the least you could have done was to wipe the counter down after you washed the dishes.” Like us, men have feelings too. I will always show appreciation for the husband God blesses me with. I just hope that others will heed this word of advice ans knowledge that we have yet been blessed with
i am seriously contemplating that message Christiane, the devil is always trying to nick things with misunderstandings isn’t he? HUmmmm, thinking, thinking! lol God bless
Good morning Christiane,
This is so important, thank God Christian women are taught to behave differently and i see why the ‘feminine atributes’ are so promoted in this ministry. because actually, it’s extremely important. the femininity that is not taught anymore brings the balance, the world is taught all about sex with all the vulgarities of worldy values, but the aggression that goes with it is most peculiar and out of place, true femininity is completely different isn’t it Christiane? one of the wonderful things about it is that regardless of the exterior, or our circumstances, rich or poor the same way women have a great gift of ripping a marriage apart with our tongue, we can also build up a great deal of happiness and security. With the true femininity, we build up and our husbands can feel , keen to come home, not because we nag them if they are late, but because when they are around us, they can feel 10 ft tall! comfortable, and contented with life, that is one of the best gifts we have! it’s not difficult at all, just let it always be that way, because difficult times may come, but if you maintain this ‘essence’ as you say everything is halved. of course sometimes it is a facade, when they ‘act’ needy and sometimes may be it isn’t, and if it isn’t a facade, it’s a nightmare.
if , on the other hand it’s just lack of the female influence, well that’s easily broken down then isn’t it, the pint is, we all have to reach beyond ourselves a little for things to work i think.
have a nice day, God bless
HelenXX
Hello,
I agree with everything in the above article. It is so true how far we have come away from our roles as male and female. Before coming to the church even though I was not as domestic as I could have been I was still very frustrated. I used to say it seems like the women don’t know how to be women & the men don’t know how to be men. I was even raising my 18 year old son to make sure he knew how to cook & do the laundry so he ddn’t have to depend on a woman in case he didn’t get married. I am now happy to report that I have change this & although I am busy with church I do not do this anymore. It works better & I am working on making time to get everything done that needs to be. I know I will be married someday and I want to be prepared.