So what do women really want anyway?
April 12, 2012 | By: Cristiane Cardoso | Posted in: Behavior, Family, Friendship, Marriage, Personal me, Spiritual Growth, Strength, Youth
Yesterday, the online daily program we make called ‘The Love School’ was quite productive, especially for us women, though a lot of men have now a new perspective of what we want. Through the many comments we got for the program, it was obvious that the subject in question is quite an enigma for us all: ‘what do we really want?’
The problem is, when we don’t really know what we want, we can’t really fight for it.
No my darlings, it’s not to be loved. Many women are loved and still, don’t feel satisfied. No, it’s not to be respected either for many who are respected are sad too.
It took me awhile to discover this for myself. This tardiness really disrupted my life because I’d create problems where there were none, especially in relation to myself. You who follow this blog for a couple of years now, know this quite well.
It was only when I recognized that I was insecure, that I could understand myself. We’ve written a couple of posts about this subject, but it seems that it’s that kind of topic that can never end and you know why? Because our insecurities need to be dealt with on a daily basis.
The insecurity you overcame last month has now taken another form and you need to deal with it today in this new version. And there we go, for the rest of our lives. The female nature carries this weakness and our other heavy burden called emotions just fuels it even more.
And so what do women want anyway? We want security. That’s why we’re constantly looking for appreciation, praises, care, friendship, respect, admiration, and love. Because we give hardly any of these things to ourselves, we demand it from others. In my case, I’ve changed quite a lot, but still, my insecurities find ways to manifest themselves differently every time. If I relax about this, forget it – they’ll take over my life again.
That’s why I fight in faith daily. When emotions that feed these insecurities come my way, I’ve a habit of rejecting them. Bad news come and these insecurities speak in an almost audible voice. I repeat the same over and over again ‘It’s tied up! God is with me, His promises are true, who can defeat Him?’
Besides this, I fill myself with the Words of God. I couldn’t care less about what’s happening in the world, ask me what came out in the news yesterday and I’ll tell you ‘don’t know, don’t care’. Celebrities get married and get divorced, and I normally find out way later than everyone else in the world. I don’t follow news that are irrelevant to me, that’s all. I know that many people like to be informed, and I’m not judging them. If the news don’t harm them – great! In my case, it doesn’t help.
The more I feed myself from what comes from above, less insecurity I have, and more faith I acquire. This is my secret. This is my husband’s secret. This is the secret of our marriage. Want some of this banquet? Go after it!
Cristiane Cardoso
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.
IT is very important to have a communion with God ,because you will always be let by the spirit and nothing will stand in your way including emotions.Woman are very emotional ,but the one who seeks God is able to manage his emotions and is not controlled by emotions thank you very much Mrs Cristiane……..
Thanks Mrs Cristiane.
Its true if we base our lifes in the hands of GOD and read his word nothing will shake us..
Insecurities may take place in us but that can’t let our faith down.
We are choosen and we can compare our faith and life with others.
Our faith and word of GOD should substain us not the news of the world or experience people went through.
Faith and word of GOD will make us strong.
Good evening Mrs Cristiane,
Thank you very much for the message. I agree with this message. When we start forgetting the promises of God about our lives, we open doors for insecurities to come to our lives. It does not matter the type of live I have, either its bad or I am not that good looking , when I just hold on to what God says, nothing matters. Again with the presence of the Holy Sprit in us we always glow.
Thank You very much
Than you for sharing such a wounderfull blog. I used to be nsecure because how I looked but then I noticed that I felt bad because I was responssible of this. Emotions,Emotions. It should be called the number one Killer.
Is the Truth Mrs. Cris, and this security we only find in God, when we value him as our True SAFE HARBOR, it just got by following the advice above that you gave, stop feeding our self with the banquet of this world and feed our self with the Word of God and the things of God,
thank God ,
I’m doing this, it has worked,
God bless you,
thanks!
I like that “what does not add to my life I don’t really listen or care about it. I care about what can improve me as a servant of God. Thanks I agree.
thank you Mrs Cris, many time the source of the problem is who and what we spend time with and mostly whatever that we spend time with mostly is what we become thank you for the massage
It is truly a DAILY battle. If I don’ pay attention to my thoughts and let them linger around, I start feeling down. Insecurities are always trying to sneak in (you won’t get it right, don’t bother, let it be, just accept it, etc…) It is never something positive or supportive.
God’s word and its practice is really the only way to remain positive and on the right path
I thank God for you Mrs Cris, because everytime I read your blog I learn so much. I agree with your post, thank you for sharing.
I can relate to this as I have suffered with comparing myself with other woman and even thought I did not deserve what I have someone else deserves it because I think they are more Golly than me and keeping myself filled with the word of God has helped me to see myself overcoming things that I never knew how to overcome when I was worried about why I am not like so and so.
Thanks for sharing Mrs. Cris, I have realise this myself because I understood the source of my insecurities and once I changed I soar great changes, the more we feed ourselves with the things of God our insecurities are so small before us, I remember how I used to feed myself with the things of this world and it did me no good because I became more insecure than ever but once the secret was revilled to me I changed immediately, so yes I can say your secret indeed is effective and it makes perfect sense.
Thanks for sharing.
This is very true Mrs Cristiane, many insecurities come from us comparing ourselves with other people, like celebrities. Immediately when we become closer to God,these insecurities go away because we know we are wonderfully and fearfully made, we are able to rebuke emotions.
Helo Mrs Cris as ladies we like to be emotional,we don’t like to fight our weakness not even our insecurities but the problem is if we do not fight them they are going to grow until we became weak. and cant take more .SO WE HAVE TO COME AGAINST OUR EMOTIONS AND FIGHT OUR INSECURITIES.
Wow
Thank You. Mrs. Cris
What ever you feed your self the most with, that’s what you will deliver or that’s what will posses your mind. I am 100% with you, when saying that feeding your self more with more heavenly things than Earthly things. I remember the was one time up until now. I wanted to know God and to make our relationship to be stronger. So i make these chain of reading my bible and seeking Him more than i used too. I saw good results because i was so willingly to know him, sacrificing T.V, MAGAZINES AND less time on internet just giving him time to talk to me. When i was reading my bible there was a Scripture in the bible that says ‘set your mind on things above” so i meditate on it and continuing reading my bible. To be honest now i am no longer that interested in T.V. I now become to understand what kind of character that my creator requires from me as a child of God. I am learning every day becoming more matured in my faith. For in God i am secured. Thank You for sharing
Thank you Mrs.Cristiane for this post indeed I agree with you the more of God we fill are less with or the more we seek Him first the less our emotions and insecurity we will have because we look to Him, our feelings have no time to come up.
This is not just for one day but all the days of our life.
Thank you for the post… I think the reason why our insecurities increase is because for some reason we put God aside and think we can do it on our own, we shift our focus on God and start worrying a lot and trying to come up with action plans that we are not even sure they’ll work.. but if we continuously focus on God and fully depend on him with all that we are then all will be well. I believe that everything happens for a reason, it is not to harm us but to make better and stronger being… if things don’t go my way it’s surely because God didn’t want me to go that way. So to answer the Question in half we just need God to lead us then we can change the way we look at ourselves and everything in life.