The contrarian – stopped in time
March 17, 2012 | By: Cristiane Cardoso | Posted in: Behavior, Children, Family, Personal me, Spiritual Growth, Strength, Time Management
Yes that’s right, I think it’s absurd when I hear people say they don’t like to learn new things. One of the things that I admire the most about my mother in the past few years is her will to learn things she never heard of in the past. It’s not because she’s from another generation that she doesn’t know how to use the computer, in fact, she even has a blog! She drives everywhere, fearless to learn new ways. And now, she’s rolling on Twitter! She’s a true old-fashioned modern woman!
If only all the women were like this… if only they didnt have so much fear to conquer, learn, and do what they have to do.
I lived outside my country, Brazil, longer than I’ve lived there. Pratically 24 years in total outside Brazil. I’m 38 years old now, do the math. One of the things you learn when you leave your country of origin is this: you need to manage a new life. In our home country, we can always find a way to not learn something new, after all, we know a lot of people, we can simply ask for help. Not to mention we speak the same language with everybody else. Not that it’s a problem to ask for help, but it’s definitely a problem to depend on others to learn new things every time. You become a slave of the good will of others and consequently, you stop in time.
The first thing I learned in America was to speak English. I was 12 so it wasn’t that hard, but even so, I met many foreign students in school who insisted on speaking their own language among themselves. When it was time to speak English, they had a hard time communicating it, even though they were there for longer than I.
People insisted that I learn Spanish at the time, but I refused (though I wish I had not). I didn’t want to be one more foreigner who couldn’t speak English but managed to live in America regardless.
Something else I learned at the time was to handle myself in an enormous high school, when I didn’t speak any English and I had that unfortunate shyness along with me the whole time. My heart trembled every time, it felt as though I was lost inside those long, long corridors, and when I’d get to the classroom, the color of my face resembled a tomato. This really helped me not depend on my mother or the teachers so much.
As soon as I got married, I made sure I learned everything there was to know about taking care of a home. I learned how to clean, cook, wash, iron, do grocery shopping for the week, do payments, resolve bills, and others. Everything in the house was under my responsibility, not my husband – I wanted him to focus on his work entirely and so I learned. Obviously I made many mistakes, I wish I had taken a picture of the first beans I cooked!
Renato, my husband, taught me how to drive about three times, I did the test, passed, and started practicing it immediately. I learned how to drive at 17 – thank God! It’s very important for us to go out and about, do what we have to do, without depending on others or the weather…
I learned how to do my nails, hair, make-up, decorate the house, accountancy, find my own style, play the piano in church, counsel people, evangelize, write, do radio and TV shows, photography, videos, e even singing… and do you know how? Wanting, that’s all. I didn’t have a class for any of these things.
Sometimes our culture limits us to doing the same thing day in, day out. We never do anything different. And do you know what often happens? How can you make a difference doing the same old things you’ve always done?
The woman of God is also modern. She doesn’t stay behind, no way! She’s active, loves to learn new things, and uses her head other than for a headband only. She’s modern enough not to let culture or what’s hot these days get to her. She doesn’t waste but gain time.
Cristiane Cardoso
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.
Love the blog.. I love learning new thing, love the challenges, love the changes. It will always benefit us in our lives
. Thank you!
this a very spiritual way of learning good things to do..so that your mind is active n busy..
That’s true Mrs Cardoso because I like to learn new things everyday even if it has to come from a child, as long as it will help me I will go for it and am not affraid to male mistakes because it will help me to know my weakest area to do better.
Agree, it is good to learn new things. It expands our horizons. We become more knowledgeable don’t have to depend on no one, except God.
Its so true,in my case when i got married i dint rilly kno how to do stuff i was only 16 year old but in that moment i never thought marriage was so complicated its not, i now kno that but i was not ready for marriage, i have improve so much thanks to the help of God in my life!And i’m looking foward to learning more to become one of a kind woman
this post realy helped me it allowed me to realise that once you want somthing you have to go for it and not let anything get in your way and impide you from concorring what you want.
I absolutely love this post Mrs Cristiane, it speaks of everything I love to be NEW!!! To be active and always doing things ,learning to do new things. I used to think a lot about what talents I have and I used to find it hard to think of any… So I just made myself good at something instead till it became my talent. I love to write, sing, plan and coordinate weddings and events, I also love to cook and bake and many more things. Though i am not the best at these things i can always be better if and whenever I want to.
One thing I would like to ask is, my mum isn’t great when comes to the computer and the net. I would like to teach her how to use it and the easiest ways without making her feel small, which she tends to feel, how can I go about this?
i agree,its important that weuse our time wisely aand make sure we take full advantage of every opportunity.its also very good to invest in ourselves.
many thanks
Thank you for sharing. After reading this, I really see how much of a waste our time on earth can be spent without learning something new. If we’re used to the same things, and stuck in the same ways we become limited. I remember when I was younger and took advantage of opportunities that allowed me to be part of more opportunities. However, in recent years I have found myself becoming lazy and relaxed and as a result, falling behind. I’ve tried learning new things along the way, only to end up beating myself up when making mistakes or finding it too hard. This post has made me think about how much I am limiting myself by refusing to learn, whilst giving me a boost to take action.
This is very strong Mrs Cardoso, when one opens his/her heart to the “lessons”, the learning process can begin.
Thanks Mrs Cris, this is for sure something to think about. Learning new things is essential in the Work of God, it gives us the opportunity to save more souls!
The confort zone is a really bad place to dwell. Unfortunately, many hide in this ‘safety’ and don’t even realise that being complacent is dangerous.
In my walk with God, I realise that if I put a wall or door between me and next action of faith, then, I’ll be like those I meet on a daily basis who’ve been in England for over 15years and you have a hard time understanding when (if at all) they speak English.
“Change is the most constant thing in life” a wise man once said.
I agree with you Mrs. Cristiane
Amazing blog. Really made me think about how and where i stand on learning new things. I always say i want to scuba dive and do all these new things but when it comes to actually doing them I get really scared to go on ahead. There have been times in which i do something to better myself, knowing that i have the chance of making a fool of myself but in the end its totally worth it. Getting out of my comfort zone and refraining from doing what I’m accustomed to, is my daily struggle. i can no longer waste time, its time to act.
“she doesnt waste but gains time” i totally agree with this when i think how much time i have on my hands and with that time i repeat the same old things, activities, why not try to explore find and learn new skills which in the long run only adds to my life and could later on benefit the work of God.
I really like the blog its so true we need to make time for everything in our lives. I have always liked to try new things and have experience that i have never had. Its amazing to learn new steps everyday that we go by.It helps grow more and know alot more.