The contrarian – stopped in time
Yes that’s right, I think it’s absurd when I hear people say they don’t like to learn new things. One of the things that I admire the most about my mother in the past few years is her will to learn things she never heard of in the past. It’s not because she’s from another generation that she doesn’t know how to use the computer, in fact, she even has a blog! She drives everywhere, fearless to learn new ways. And now, she’s rolling on Twitter! She’s a true old-fashioned modern woman!
If only all the women were like this… if only they didnt have so much fear to conquer, learn, and do what they have to do.
I lived outside my country, Brazil, longer than I’ve lived there. Pratically 24 years in total outside Brazil. I’m 38 years old now, do the math. One of the things you learn when you leave your country of origin is this: you need to manage a new life. In our home country, we can always find a way to not learn something new, after all, we know a lot of people, we can simply ask for help. Not to mention we speak the same language with everybody else. Not that it’s a problem to ask for help, but it’s definitely a problem to depend on others to learn new things every time. You become a slave of the good will of others and consequently, you stop in time.
The first thing I learned in America was to speak English. I was 12 so it wasn’t that hard, but even so, I met many foreign students in school who insisted on speaking their own language among themselves. When it was time to speak English, they had a hard time communicating it, even though they were there for longer than I.
People insisted that I learn Spanish at the time, but I refused (though I wish I had not). I didn’t want to be one more foreigner who couldn’t speak English but managed to live in America regardless.
Something else I learned at the time was to handle myself in an enormous high school, when I didn’t speak any English and I had that unfortunate shyness along with me the whole time. My heart trembled every time, it felt as though I was lost inside those long, long corridors, and when I’d get to the classroom, the color of my face resembled a tomato. This really helped me not depend on my mother or the teachers so much.
As soon as I got married, I made sure I learned everything there was to know about taking care of a home. I learned how to clean, cook, wash, iron, do grocery shopping for the week, do payments, resolve bills, and others. Everything in the house was under my responsibility, not my husband – I wanted him to focus on his work entirely and so I learned. Obviously I made many mistakes, I wish I had taken a picture of the first beans I cooked!
Renato, my husband, taught me how to drive about three times, I did the test, passed, and started practicing it immediately. I learned how to drive at 17 – thank God! It’s very important for us to go out and about, do what we have to do, without depending on others or the weather…
I learned how to do my nails, hair, make-up, decorate the house, accountancy, find my own style, play the piano in church, counsel people, evangelize, write, do radio and TV shows, photography, videos, e even singing… and do you know how? Wanting, that’s all. I didn’t have a class for any of these things.
Sometimes our culture limits us to doing the same thing day in, day out. We never do anything different. And do you know what often happens? How can you make a difference doing the same old things you’ve always done?
The woman of God is also modern. She doesn’t stay behind, no way! She’s active, loves to learn new things, and uses her head other than for a headband only. She’s modern enough not to let culture or what’s hot these days get to her. She doesn’t waste but gain time.
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.