Etiquette Tuesday – The Invasion
July 19, 2011 | By: Cristiane Cardoso | Posted in: Etiquette Tuesday
Being a pastor’s daughter and later, a pastor’s wife, led me to adjust with different people and places. Of all the nine (9) different cities I’ve lived in, only two (2) of them put me off guard and the reasons were not the places or people, but because of me, of all the insecurities I was experiencing at the time. Usually, I love changes, love moving, meeting new people, working in new places, familiarizing myself to new cultures, and taking on new challenges. There’s just one thing that makes it quite uncomfortable though… the fact that I have to find a new 
family doctor, a dentist, and a hair salon.
I have to tell my entire life story all over again. Yes, I’m a pastor’s wife. Yes, I got married at 17. Yes, I chose to adopt a child. Yes, my hair is thicker than it looks.
For some reason, people in general find it necessary to ask you everything about your life, as if they had the right to know all the details. It’s one thing when you want to share it, like I do in the blog many, many times, and another entirely different matter when people consistently ask you… they’re invading your privacy.
And even if you just give them a one-word answer, they keep pushing for more… talk about being in an unpleasant conversation!
Here’s what I normally have to put up with:
‘Do you have children? How old is he? WOW… you’re so young to have a child that old!’
And then they look at me as if I had my son while I was still a single teenager, so I have to explain that I was married 20 years ago, and hope they can do the math.
If it weren’t so rude, I’d just say:
‘Please mind your own business, I’m just here for the haircut – thank you!’
Privacy invasion is unpleasant – be smart and be content with whatever private information the person is willing to give you for free. After all, do you give your home keys to every stranger you meet? Why should you then give your own history?
Cristiane Cardoso
Author of the books "Better than a new pair of shoes", "V woman" and "Casamento Blindado" (Bulletproof Marriage). Founder of "Godllywood" and "Rahab Project". Presenter of "The Love School" at Rede Record.
Yes, I normally have to brace myself before I go to the hairdresser’s, beautican’s alike. They’re not there to show genuine interest but for the shake of talking like they did with how many other clients they’ve had that day.
I am quite a private person. So imagine how ackward you may be making that person feel by being intrusive. There are times that you want to disclose personal information but it is at your own choice and it’s not very nice when you feel obliged to make a verbal spillage of your life.
Sooo true Ms. Cristiane
I don’t know why people likes to know others people life..
I don’t like to give information about my life to nobody…it’s private
Thanks for sharing with us Ms Cris …. ^.^
Its true people they like information that won’t benefit them anything and its wise to always to be discreet thanks mrs cris.
If you do not open up you are called all the names under the sun. I do not invite people to my house, it is my private sanctuary. I have been in the church for 6 years. I have learnt the hard way.
I have learned the importance of giving people their space and not invading their privacy and I like it when people do the same to me too. I do agree that we have to be careful what we say to people. I have had moments when I spoke too much and told people things that they really didn’t need to know. After all i don’t know their heart so I have to be careful.
That so true Mrs Chris that people just wanna know and never gonna do anything about your history or what they do is criticise. I think its better to tell your history to someone you trying to bring to God, and even then don’t tell your privacy but rather give your testimony.
Thanks a lot mama
That’s true, mrs! I love to talk about me to people, bur only when i know the person, and trust her a lot. Be reserved is a quality we should give more attention, because can save our lives from unecesary problems.
God bless!
That’s funny… I always give them one word answers and start reading something as it to give them a hint. I hate it when people are nosey and want to find out a bit too much.
It’s worse though when it’s someone we know…
les gens aiment la vies des gens, c’est pour ce comparer ou trouver une faille en la personne admirer, nous même veillons à nos questions parfois qui peut être trop intimes pour nos soeurs
Thanks for sharing Mrs. Cristiane.
God Bless
Dn Cris,
This reminds me of a few hair salons I’ve been to…. only to be on the receiving end of probing questions. “What, you don’t have kids?” Then they look at you as if you’ve got 4 eyes…. Well, in my case, I sort of do since I wear glasses. kkkkkkkkk
“Be smart and be content with whatever private information the person is willing to give you for free.” This is a great line, Dn Cris, I like it a lot!
Grazie molto!
))